literati

a letter sent to some One

hi!

this letter is my way of summing up what i have been up to since we made the pact to be together.

when i decided to give it a go - i know what i was doing and i was sure i wanted it. i know it may sound a bit peculiar considering the proximity factor - that is vital to any relationship; but anyhow, we managed to work it out even through chat, and phone calls. it's even peculiar because we really haven't met personally and it sounds really funny though. for one we're living in this information age where everything is possible so this may not sound really odd.

i was convinced to get on it though i barely have known you, well, except for those correspondence we used to have :) i mean, i may have trusted you that easily because i can sense the sincere persona that you may have reflected on our virtual correspondence (i hope in reality, indeed it is true). i do believe so :) i just hope that what i believe in are true. hehehe.

but, know what, i also believe in the intervention of some sort of cosmic connection between us - maybe there has to be a reason for this circumstance to exist.

it all happened so fast yet a part of me believed that maybe there was something else that existed between us. it was not a mere whirlwind thing for it has exemplified an extraordinary sigh of relief in this jaded wall i once built for myself to keep me from further pain and disappointments. i have always shield my self from being infected by the virus of lower class beings, because i believed that to have oneself subjected to one’s lower faculties is a sign of being a lower class being. To fall in love is subjecting oneself to one of the lower faculties, the heart. when i met you at the chat room, i had no idea who you really are, how do you look like, and stuffs that a decent individual would demand before one agree to have a relationship. i mean i was not really looking for somebody for i was just having fun being anyone i want to be, especially that we’re in a virtual world. in your case, i was in the mood of being the other real me, so we chatted pretty well. so you came, seemed to be a harmless human being whose intentions seem unscathed. you were nice to me, that’s why from that time on, i decided to be open to whatever possibility that the moment can offer. to my surprise, it all came unexpected, for in a matter of days; we professed our exclusivity oath with each other. our relationship was no ordinary kind though i believe this is based on what we truly felt for each other. for a time, i was asking myself, what was the strange feeling all about, yet to no avail. i cannot rationalize the feelings i have. but i'm sure; it’s not something to be afraid of (I hope, that was the signal i got). of course i am ready to get into the plunge, i mean i wanted a real and serious relationship because i felt i needed to traverse the other side of life behind my wall. though, at first i was scared, i mean, i will be subjecting myself to one of my lower faculties, of course it entails pain. some abstract words that caused too much happiness are the ones that caused too much pain. But still, if there is a way to get off the excruciating pain, i’ll choose that path. in matters of love i don’t feel like being a masochist. frankly, even before i woke up from the spell of the fairytale pop culture, i was not in good terms with my emotions. i’ve always tended to play with it, even when it comes to relationship. i can always make face that i am doing all right yet, at the back of it, i am irritated; or i can pretend i am happy but in reality i am not.
but these past days, there is something i don't know that confronts me. may be the reason was that, “i’m happy.”

And i want you to know that. 'till here. i feel for you.

- hehe, censia ka na sinipag ako e :)

me

ps. can i call you honey :)